As the season of consumerism and cheer approaches, daytime and early evening variety shows contain featurettes telling you what to buy. Oprah tells her viewers about her favorite things (which seem to be strangely similar from year to year), Al Roker welcomes toy experts, so you know what your little cousins want (as though they won’t tell you themselves), and publications such as ReadyMade provide gifting instructions for crafty people on a budget. I’m here to hand out the Creepiest Gift of the Year Award. Drum roll please. Or perhaps the sound of beating on a hairy chest would be more appropriate. The prize goes to the animatronic chimp head by WowWee. This furry friend displays curiosity, fear, happiness and anger in reaction to sound and touch. While technically interesting, this product doesn’t seem fully evolved for public consumption. I can only surmise that it was designed for adults because no one would leave a nightmare-inducing toy with no body under the tree or by the menorah for youngsters. If someone can explain the appeal of a gift that would drive anyone with opposable thumbs bananas, please monkey do.